75 Cute and Silly Jokes, Pick-up Lines, and Card Ideas for Valentine’s Day

Do you have a sweetheart this Valentine’s Day? Want to send a funny card or challenge your crush with a clever joke? Maybe you’re looking for the perfect play on words to caption your Galentine’s Day photo of friends.

Whether you’re in love or single this February 14th, we’ve got you covered with jokes, hilariously awful pickup lines and card ideas to celebrate the day of love.

jokes for valentines day

• Why do skunks love Valentine’s Day? Because they are scented animals!
• Why not fall in love with a pastry chef? They will let you down.
• What did one snake say to the other on Valentine’s Day? Give me a hug and a hiss, honey.
• Why is it a good idea to give your partner a kitten for Valentine’s Day? It’s the purring gift.
• What did the paperclip say to the magnet? I think you are very attractive.
• Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
• How did his girlfriend’s phone propose marriage on Valentine’s Day? He gave her a ring.
• What did one toast say to the other on Valentine’s Day? You are my buttery half.
• What flowers should you never give as a gift on Valentine’s Day? A cauliflower!
• Why didn’t the skeleton want to celebrate Valentine’s Day? His heart wasn’t in it.
• What happened to the two angels who got married? They lived harpily to the end of their days.
• What is Cupid’s favorite band? Kiss!
• Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day? A calendar.
• Why couldn’t the bottled water ever score a date? All of his friendships were completely platonic.
• What’s the best thing about Valentine’s Day? The day after, all the chocolate goes on sale.
• What did one plum say to the other after agreeing to dinner? It’s a date!
• Why did all the fruits ask the banana to be their valentine? It was very a-pee-ing.
• What did one Bloody Mary say to another on Valentine’s Day? olive you
• What does a chef give his partner for Valentine’s Day? A hug and a quiche.
• What did one flame say to another on Valentine’s Day? We fit together perfectly!
• What did the baker say to his wife on Valentine’s Day? give me some sugar
• What is the favorite song of a paper cutter on Valentine’s Day? Bleeding Love.
• What did the cashew nut say to the almond to ask them? I’m crazy for you!
• Why did the cop lock up her Valentine? For stealing her heart.
• What flowers do squirrels give each other on Valentine’s Day? Forget Me Not.
• What should you say to your single friends on Valentine’s Day? Happy Independence Day!
• What’s the difference between a $20 steak and a $55 steak? 14th of February.
• What do you call a blossoming romance in an aquarium? guppy love.
• What does a vampire name their valentine? His ghoul friend.
• What did one molecule say to the other? We have great chemistry!
• What did the flower say about his unrequited love? I love you once and flor-al.

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Cheesy pick-up lines for Valentine’s Day

• If you were a triangle, you would be a pointed one.
• Roses are red, violets are blue; I’m glad I swiped right at you.
• Are you a loan? Because you definitely have my interest.
• Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’m looking for.
• I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
• Do you know what you would look really beautiful on this Valentine’s Day? My arms.
• are you my attachment ‘Cause I’ve got a weird feeling in my stomach that makes me think I should take you out.
• You look like you’re vitamin M deficient.
• Are you a parking ticket? Because you wrote all the best.
• Are you copper and tellurium? Because you are Cu Te!
• You can donate blood to me anytime, because you are exactly my type.
• are you a desert plant Because I’m trying to go from cacti to cacti.
• Are you a 90 degree angle? Because that feels just right.
• If you were a Transformer, you would be Optimus Fine.
• Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
• Something is wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t say your number.
• Hello, my name is microsoft. Can I sleep with you tonight?

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Valentine’s Day card ideas

Are you looking for a craft to send to your sweetheart this Valentine’s Day? Skip the store-bought greeting and show your Valentine they’re worth a little extra effort by making your own card this year. Simply fold a piece of paper in half, grab a pen, marker, or crayon, and draw (or print and glue if drawing isn’t your strong point) one of the following images with a fun message:

• Draw a bat: It’s fun hanging out with you
• Draw a piece of toast: You are my buttery half
• Draw a bear: I love you very much
• Draw a rabbit: Somebunny loves you!
• Draw a cannoli: I can be happy when I’m with you
• Draw a whale: whale are you mine
• Draw an octopus: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!
• Draw an elephant: I love you very much!
• Draw a pizza: Every pizza me loves every pizza you make
• Draw a mushroom: There’s so mushroom in my heart for you
• Draw two peas in a pod: Will you peas be my valentine?
• Draw a loaf of bread: You are the bread of my life
• Draw eggs and bacon: Don’t go bacon my heart. I wouldn’t if I fried!
• Pull a cup of coffee: Words cannot espresso how much I love you.
• Draw some herbs: I want to spend all my thyme with you.
• Draw a stamp: I have a crush on you!
• Draw a calculator: You can count on me
• Draw a watermelon: You’re one in a bowler hat!
• Draw a volcano: I wash you
• Draw a cucumber: You are a big dill to me
• Draw a whale: whale are you mine
• Draw a sheep: i love sheep
• Draw some fruits: I love you Berry very much
• Draw a frog: I’m full of hope, you’re mine
• Draw an otter: I’m glad you’re my most significant otter
• Draw an owl: I will love you.
• Draw a pair of shoes: You are my only buddy.

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